For You
by anailurophile
Summary: Arizona decides to take Callie's advice and see a therapist.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Honestly, I have no idea how therapy would work for Arizona, but I had this idea and I just had to run with it. I'm currently in therapy, but it's for a completely different reason from Arizona's, so if you think that what I'm writing is way out of bounds, let me know! I want to keep this as realistic as possible, but Arizona's a little difficult to write. I see her one way, but that's not always the way she is, you know what I mean? Lol. I have this image of her, probably because of all the fanfiction that I read, that might be considered a little off from the actual Arziona. ANYWAY, I have a pretty good idea of where this story is going, but if you have suggestions, hit me up! Enjoy! (:**

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After Callie left her standing in the waiting room, alone, she decided that maybe Callie was right; Maybe she needed someone to talk to, someone that didn't live and work at that godforsaken hospital.  
So she took Callie's advice, for once, and walked into the office when her name was called. There was a middle-aged woman sitting behind a large cherry desk, her hair fell in loose curls, past her shoulders, and she was dressed pretty informally - wearing jeans and a plain, blue cardigan with simple, canvas shoes. Across from her sat two seemingly inviting looking armchairs; Although after airing out her dirty laundry while sitting in those chairs, they probably wouldn't be too inviting. The woman, who she now knew as Debbie, gave her a warm smile, motioning for her to take a seat. Arizona sat down, as directed, and began awkwardly fidgeting with her hands - she had no idea where to start.

"Hello, Arizona, what brings you here?" Debbie began with a smile, sensing Arizona's hesitation.

As soon as Arizona heard her speak, she was done for. "She just... She walked away. Callie's not the one that bails, I-I'm the one that bails - she scoffs at the memory of Mark pointing out her many flaws - I bail, not her. She's stuck with me through everything, but now... Now she's just-she left." Arizona sobbed.

"Slow down, Arizona. I'm going to need you to start from the beginning." Debbie says, urging her on.

Arizona takes a minute to compose herself, and she begins. "I'm sorry..."

Debbie nods, with a smile, "You're free to say whatever you want here, whenever you want, but I think it would be easier for me to assist you if I knew a little bit about you first... Like, your name is Arizona... That's interesting. Why did your parents chose that name?"

Arizona smiles slightly at the memory of her little speech to Carlos, early on in her and Callie's relationship. Carlos came to love Arizona, despite their initial meeting, but they still weren't all that close. Arizona didn't really mind it, though, she was just glad Callie's father chose to accept them as they were. "Most people think that I was named for the state, but it's not true. I-I was named for a battleship, the U.S.S. Arizona. My grandfather was serving on the Arizona when the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor... Pretty much everything my father, Colonel Daniel Robbins of the United States Marine Corps, did was about honoring that sacrifice, so that's why my name is Arizona." She says, trying to hold back tears.

"I can see that your grandfather's death is a bit of a sore subject for you. I'm sorry." Debbie says, holding out a small tissue box across the desk, for Arizona to take.

"No, no, that's not why I'm crying - she laughs - I- When I first started dating Callie, her father didn't approve of our "lifestyle", so I tried to talk to him... He said he didn't know me well enough to talk about Callie, though, so I told him a bit about myself... I told him the story of how I got my name, and how exactly my father reacted when he heard that I was a lesbian, but I didn't want to push too hard, so after I'd told him that I loved his daughter, I left him to think about what I'd said." She says, with a shaky breath.

"Ah, I see. Can you tell me about your relationship with Callie? I'm assuming that that's probably the reason you're here, so let's start with that..."

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**A/N: Should I continue with this or? Please, review and let me know how you feel about this so far! Thanks for reading! **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N**: **I'm so sorry for making you wait for this, but I had to get an idea of where I'm headed with this story before writing anymore. Thanks for being patient with me... I am new to this, after all! Lol. And by the way, I don't have a beta, so I'm sorry for any mistakes that will be made throughout this story. **

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She stared at the woman across from her for what seemed like an eternity. She had no idea where to start, "Callie and I... We... We've been through quite a lot together - she scoffs - more than any couple should go through, I suppose... But we've always-We've always stuck it out, survived, together..." Arizona takes a deep breath, trying to hold back the tears that she knew were inevitably going to come,

"We... One night, I was at Joe's, and I saw her - she smiled at the memory - It wasn't the first time I'd seen her, but it was the first time I really looked at her, you know? She was... She was just... She _is_ just breathtakingly stunning. - she smiled fondly - I couldn't keep my eyes off of her the entire night, so when I saw her get up, I followed her. I found her in the bathroom, crying, and since news flies around that hospital like... I don't even know what, I knew why she was crying. We talked for a few minutes, and then I just... I kissed her. I liked her, a lot, and I wanted her to know that, so I kissed her. I'm not usually like that, though. Sure, I'll take a girl home from the bar and have my way with her, but with Calliope it was different... I-For the first time, I didn't want to do that. I wanted to get to know her, I wanted to actually be with her, instead of just having a one night stand with her. That was new for me..."

She looked up at the women, expecting a reaction, but all she got was an encouraging nod. So she kept pushing forward, "After that, she avoided me for awhile, and then she didn't... When I found out that Erica Hahn, another woman who worked at the hospital, had been her first girlfriend, I quickly changed my mind about wanting to be with her - I never really liked to entertain the idea of being with a woman who was... Well, new to women, you know what I mean? I didn't want to have to compete with more than just other women, either, and Callie was hot, so I knew I'd have to if I started a relationship with her. Callie asked me out, originally, and I shot her down - she laughed - But after having my ass handed to me by Alex Karev, a second year resident at the time, who is actually now a good friend of mine, I decided that I judged Calliope too harshly, and I liked her too much to not give her a chance. So, when I caught the elevator at the end of the day, she was in it, and I asked her out this time. She tried to act nonchalant about the whole thing, which was adorable, but she ultimately accepted my invitation for a date." Arizona smiled.

She thought back to their first date, and what a huge success it had been.

_Arizona Robbins had never been so excited for a date in her entire life, she was over the damn moon about it; She couldn't contain her bubbly attitude throughout the entire day of at the hospital, either - not that she really even tried. She really liked Callie, and frankly, she didn't care who knew it. Arizona left the hospital early that night, and she went home to get ready. She took a quick shower, and found a casual outfit to wear - not wanting to over do it too much - she applied a new layer of makeup to her eyes, curled her hair a bit tighter, and she was ready to pick Callie up. When she arrived at Callie's apartment, however, the Latina was in no shape to spend a night out on the town - she looked completely exhausted. "Hey," Arizona said, in a soft whisper, when Callie opened the door. _

_Callie replied, "Hey, Arizona." With her signature, mega-watt smile plastered on her beautiful face. _

_"You look... Exhausted, Callie... If you want to do this another time, I'd -"_

_Callie cut her off quickly, "No, no, I want to go out. I mean, I am exhausted, but I don't care... I want to go out with you, I don't want to wait... For our schedules to sync up at the hospital again." _

_"I don't want to wait, either, but it's probably best if I go -" Arizona began to dismiss herself once again, when Callie gently pulled her into the apartment. _

_"We can... We can stay here! Yeah! I mean, it's not the most romantic of places, but as long as we're together, does it really matter? - That made Arizona's heart beat just a little bit faster - We could order pizza and just watch a movie and talk, or something... If you want to, of course..." Callie looked up, waiting for a reply from Arizona. Instead of a reply, though, she got a soft kiss, in return. Callie's full, beautiful lips felt like pure heaven against Arizona's, even after just meeting for the briefest of seconds. She would go anywhere or do anything for this woman, no questions asked, if she got to kiss her again and again. Arizona silently nodded then, holding out her hand for Callie to take. _

_Callie happily obliged, pulling Arizona over to the couch. She pulled out her cell, and made quick work of ordering their pizza. She popped in a DVD to watch while they waited for their meal - _Arizona doesn't even remember which one it was now, thinking back. She was too busy stealing glances and sweet kisses from Callie that evening to even care. If you asked Callie, though, she'd probably remember. She doesn't forget anything._ - After their pizza came, Callie shut off the TV, and they began to eat and make small talk. The small talk quickly turned into deeper talk, which Arizona didn't mind; They talked about their families and their childhoods, stealing a kiss or two every now and again in between. Overall, the night had been a success, and Arizona was happy to do it again. She'd be content just watching Callie watch TV, if that's what it ever came to. She really liked that girl. _From that night on, there was no turning back, not that Arizona had even though about it - until recently, that is.

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"Arizona.." Debbie said, pulling Arizona down from the clouds, back to reality.

"Hmmm... Oh, I'm sorry." Arizona apologized. She quickly got distracted, thinking about the first date her and Callie had shared so many years ago. When she came back to reality and realized all that had happened since then, she began to cry, for what felt like the billionth time, just that very week.

"Arizona, I know it's hard for you to think about and discuss this..." Debbie began, "But it's also healthy. I mean, when's the last time you actually thought about the joys of your relationship with Callie? Probably not very recently, am I right?" Debbie looked at her, eyebrows raised, waiting for a response.

Arizona nodded, slowly. She hadn't thought of anything good in what felt like forever. She had nothing good left in her life to think about, with the exception of her daughter, especially now that Callie was gone.

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**A/N: All right, I'm sorry about the abrupt end to this chapter, but that's just the way the cookie crumbles, I guess! Lol. **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: This chapter is going to be pretty short, but I'm on a roll, so there'll be more soon!**

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As much as Arizona missed Callie, she was still incredibly angry with her. She never truly got over the leg thing, even if she pretended she had, for her relationships sake.

Debbie saw Arizona's wheels turning, "Arizona, what are you thinking?"

Arizona's head jerked up, pulling her out of her thoughts, "I... I miss Callie, I really do, and I'm sorry for all the pain that I've caused her, I really am, but I just... I can't shake this feeling of being incredibly upset with her still. Last year, I got into a place crash, I'm sure you heard about it on the news. But anyway, now I have a prosthetic leg, which is something that I never thought possible for myself, even being a doctor, knowing the risks, I... I never thought it would actually happen to me. The reason I'm telling you this is because... I-She decided to cut it off... Callie cut off my leg. Before they took me into the OR, I knew that my leg was in bad shape, that it was a possibility, but I never... Like I said, I never thought it would actually happen. And what makes this even harder, is that she promised me she wouldn't cut it off, and I understand that it was to save my life, I do, but she... She promised. She shouldn't have even been working on my leg, for Christ's sake! But... She's the best at what she does, so they put her on my case anyway. Before surgery, she really made me believe that I would come out of that OR with two legs, too. But I didn't. I didn't, and it's her fault. I... I still blame her. I don't want to blame her, but I do. And I... I've treated her so, so, _so_ terribly since then because of it..." Arizona finished, sobs fiercely ripping through her body.

Debbie listened, intently, and when Arizona was finished, she began again, "This isn't about the fact that she cut off your leg, Arizona..." Arizona looked up at her, brow furrowed in confusion, tears still flowing freely down her face, "This is about trust. When she cut off your leg, she completely shattered the trust you instilled in her, and that's why it hurts so much. The fact that your leg is gone comes second to that. And, I've worked with amputee's before, Arizona, I know how you must have treated Callie after you found out about her cutting your leg off. I mean, most people resent their spouse or person after they've become an amputee, because they just don't feel whole any longer, so they take it out on them, but you - You had that, on top of the trust issue, on top of the fact that Callie was actually the person to cut off your leg -

Arizona interrupted her then, "Callie didn't cut it off herself, Alex Karev did, but Callie made the call."

"Well, even so... I think you wanted to make her feel as bad as you did about the entire thing. You wanted to show her how you felt. Granted, you didn't go about it the right way, but that's what you did. You feel terrible about the way you treated her, which is actually a good thing, but you still resent her for it. I think, if you're going to keep coming to see me, that is going to be our treatment plan, our goal, for you. Not only are we going to help make you feel whole again, we're also going to help you get Callie back into your life. I'm going to try and right your wrongs, Arizona, but you need to be on board with all of this. You need to want it. Do you want it?"

Arizona doesn't even hesitate when she hears the question, "Yes. I want it more than anything. I... I just want to be me again. I want to be the person that Callie fell in love with, I want to be the person that once looked in the mirror, and said "I'm awesome." I want that so much."

"All right, well, I want to see you every week, from now on. How does that sound?" Debbie asked.

"Sounds perfect... Thank you." She replied.

"Just doing my job, Arizona." She smiled.

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**A/N: Kind of a lousy ending, I know, but I'm trying here! Lol. This story is actually really hard for me to right. I'm trying to dig deep into Arizona's PTSD and what not, but I'm not very deep, so just bear with me while I try to figure out what to do! Thanks for reading! Reviews are always appreciated! (;**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Here's another short (sorry) chapter for you guys. Thanks for reading! **

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"Tell me more about your relationship with Callie... Pre plane crash." Debbie said, urging Arizona on.

"Well, as I've said, we've been through a lot more than any couple should have to go through. Um, let's see... Well, about a year into our relationship, Callie and I started discussing children - she wanted them, I didn't - so we broke up for awhile, and she resented me. A shooter came into the hospital, and we were on lock down, stuck on the same floor. We were taking care of a patient together, when the shooter came to our room. Callie protected me and the child. I think, in that moment, I realized that if I wanted to be with Callie, and I did, I needed to make a decision. I loved her so much, and I couldn't bear the thought of losing her, especially after having a run in with that shooter. She could have died! And I couldn't deal with that. So, when she said, after the shooting, after we were out of the hospital, that she didn't want to have kids if it meant she couldn't be with me, I made my decision. All I wanted was for her to be happy, so I told her that we'd have all kinds of kids because I couldn't handle the thought of living in a world without her. And then we got back together. She asked me to move in, later in the year, and I happily obliged." Arizona took a deep breath, smiling.

"Keep going." Debbie pushed.

"After I moved in, things were going well... Until I won the Carter-Madison grant. I was supposed to move to Africa for three years, and at first, Callie was going to come with me, but I knew she didn't want to, so I told her to stay. We got into it at the airport, and I left her behind. I bailed. Again. I went to Africa, and some time after being there, I realized that I couldn't be without her for three years, so I flew back. I showed up at her door, begging for her back, but she wasn't having any of that. In fact, she closed the door in my face - she laughed - I tried to win her back in any way that I could think of, and finally, she gave in. But not before telling me that she slept with someone while I was in Africa..." Arizona sniffled at the thought. Something that was such a big deal then seems like nothing compared to all they've been through, as of late.

"She cheated on you...?" Debbie asked, carefully.

"No, no, she didn't. We were apart while I was in Africa. Not that that makes it hurt any less... Anyway, the person she was with, was her best friend, Mark Sloan, who's also a doctor... Well, was a doctor at the hospital. And she just so happened to be pregnant, as well. It was like the icing on the cake, really. I accepted the fact that she was pregnant, and Mark, Callie, and I all decided to be co parents when the baby was born. But just wait, it gets better - she scoffs - Callie and I decided to go away, just the two of us, while she was pregnant, and while we were in the car, I asked her to marry me. I asked her to marry me, and a truck came out of nowhere and hit us. Callie flew through the windshield because she didn't have her seat belt on, and when we got to the hospital, she was nearly dead. They saved her, and the baby, who's now our 3 year old daughter, Sofia. After the accident, we worked on getting Callie better and then we got married. The next year went relatively well. We were raising Sofia along with Mark, and we were the happiest we've ever been, and then... Then, the plane crash happened, and everything pretty much went downhill from there." Arizona finished, with a deep sigh. She'd never told her story in such detail before, but in some ways it felt good. Sure, she hated reliving those painful memories, but if she wanted to get better, it was going to take some pain.

"Jesus Christ..." Debbie whispered, wide eyed.

"I know, right?" Arizona mused.

"I'm sorry, that was unprofessional of me, but just... Wow. When you said you went through things no couple should ever go through, I was expecting devastation, but not... Not like that... I'm so sorry, Arizona." She says, sighing heavily.

"Although I am glad you told me all of this, it's good for you as well as myself, that way I have a better understanding of you and the nature of your relationship with Callie." Debbie explains, smiling.

"Well, I'm glad." She laughs, smiling back at Debbie. "As hard as it was to tell you all of that, I found it helpful."

"I'm glad," Debbie says, smiling brighter. She glances at the clock, before looking back to Arizona. "Arizona, I'd like to discuss some post plane crash things with you a bit further, so please, think about it this week. I know it'll be hard, but we need to talk about it. We're out of time today, though, so I'll see you next week, same time." Debbie says, handing her a card with her appointment date on it.

"Will do. See you next week." She waves her goodbye, getting up, and walking out the door.

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**A/N: All right, I know this story kind of sucks right now, and I'm so sorry about that, but I just don't know how to get this all out. I'm trying, though. Let me know if you have any suggestions about where this story should go. Thank you! **


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I just want to clear a few things up before you continue... The whole baby thing... Yeah, that never happened. I hate the way it was done on the show, so I'm not going to include it in this story. Also, Arizona sleeping with Leah? No way! Completely out of the equation. Arizona's going to therapy and getting help, instead of sleeping with someone, while her and Callie are separated. And, I probably won't end up including the Nick thing in here, either. I loved that storyline, but I'm just to lazy to explain it. Anyway, hopefully, this story is living up to your standards!**

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At 6pm, after Arizona's shift at the hospital was over, she made her way to the tiny therapy building she now made an appearance at every week. She'd gone there three times already, and she felt as though she was making progress. She knew she still had a long way to go, but she was making progress, and that counted for something. Years ago, she wouldn't have even entertained the idea of going to therapy, but now, now she's different. Before, it was easier to push her problems under the rug and focus on the task at hand, but after the crash, it became more and more difficult to do that, and her work was suffering. Truthfully, she should have been going to therapy long before now, but she was stubborn, she thought she could do everything on her own. Throughout the week, she had thought about what she wanted to talk about the next time she went to therapy, and there were a million things that needed to be said, but she wanted to talk about her infidelity this week, which was truthfully one of her biggest hurdles since the plane crash. She needed to talk about it, she needed to figure some things out.

She made her way into the tiny, dimly lit office, as usual, and sat across from Debbie. "I've come here today with a purpose. Not that I don't, every week, but today I know what I need to say, and I'm going to say it."

Debbie smiles, "Go ahead, then, Arizona. This is your time; You can say whatever you want, whenever you want."

"As you know, the first time I came here, I was upset about the fact that Callie left me... - The image of Callie walking out the door flashed through her brain, and she took a calming breath, before she continued - Originally, she was supposed to be here with me, we were supposed to be working on things together, but she left. She kicked me out a few days before, and she left only 5 minutes before our first appointment with you. Before she left, we had a bit of a fight, I guess... I was begging her to come in with me, so we could figure this all out, and I said that cheating on her was a mistake, that I made one mistake, and she said, "I don't think it was," and she walked out, without even looking back..."

"So, you cheated on her?... Was it once, or more than once?" Debbie asked, calmly. After learning this new information, Arizona took note that her facial expression didn't change, that she wasn't looking at her the way most people had after they found out. She just kept listening. It was refreshing for Arizona to see, and it calmed her down a bit.

"It was once." Arizona replied, calmly.

"Can you tell me what happened?" Debbie pressed on.

Arizona thought back to that fateful night, the words "You're allowed to lose a little bit of control," blaring loudly through her brain, like the long sound of a freight train.

"I..." Arizona began, "Lauren and I were in an on call room, saying our goodbyes. I went to give her a hug, the power went out, and the next thing I knew, we were kissing. As soon as I realized what was happening, I pulled out of her embrace, heading towards the door. Just before I could open the door, though, she said, "You're allowed to lose a little bit of control." I turned around, without thinking, and I kissed her again. One thing led to another, and I ended up sleeping with her in the on call room. After it happened, all I wanted to do was get out of there. I felt sick to my stomach, I thought I was going to die... And then I left. I left her there, and went back to do my job." Arizona said, taking a deep breath.

"How did Callie find out?" Debbie asked.

"About 15-20 minutes later, I was in the NICU with Lauren, taking care of some children, and Callie came down to see me. Apparently, Lauren and I had swapped scrubs accidentally, and I have my wedding ring pinned to my pocket, so Callie saw it on Lauren's chest, pointed it out, and Lauren tried to lie, saying I gave her a spare pair earlier, but I quickly shot down Lauren's lie, telling Callie. We went to an on call room to discuss things, and we ended up in a heated argument. I said some awful things to her... Things that I'm not sure she'll ever forgive me for."

"Like...?" Debbie pushed.

Arizona sighed, "I was just so angry, and like she said while we were fighting, everything always comes back to the leg. And it does. Everything always comes back to the leg because that's the reason I am the way I am today, because of that stupid fucking leg! - she sobbed - I... I..."

"Arizona, you can stop if you want... We don't have to keep talking about this." Debbie said, reaching out to comfort Arizona.

Arizona recoiled, though, regaining what composure she need to keep going, "No, no, I need to talk about this. Just give me a minute."

"Okay..." Debbie said, carefully.

"I... When we were fighting, she said "after all we've been through, everything we've survived," and that's what did it for me. When she said that, I got so irationally angry, and I yelled at her like I never have before. I was just so... She wasn't on the damn plane, you know?! She didn't have to listen to Meredith scream Lexie's name! She didn't have to sit with a dying Mark Sloan laying across her legs! She didn't have to see Cristina scrambling to find her damn shoe - she laughed, in disbelief. That stupid fucking shoe! - She didn't sit, waiting for someone to come rescue her in the woods, for a goddamn week! She wasn't there! And she kept acting like she was, but she fucking wasn't! She... She didn't lose anything! I lost everything!" She finished, panting. She was yelling now, and although Debbie was taken aback by her sudden change in pitch, she wasn't upset by it.

"Arizona, calm down... Breathe..." Debbie said, calmly, and Arizona did as she was told. She took long, slow breaths trying to bring her heart rate normal again.

"Now, I need you to listen, and I need you to listen good... You did lose a lot, Arizona, that's not even arguable, in this situation, but you are not the only one who lost something. Callie lost her best friend, and ultimately, she lost you -" Arizona cut her off.

"No! Callie didn't lose me, she gave up on me!" Arizona yelled, surprising even herself with that response.

"Would you like to explain what you just said, please?... Calmly." Debbie said, with a raised eyebrow.

"Callie... She gave up on me, long before I cheated on her. I was hurting, and she just wanted me to get over it. Sure, in the beginning, she was there for me, but as it goes, she gave up. She got tired of hearing me bitch about my leg, she got tired of having to deal with my depression and PTSD, she just got tired and she gave up! She never wanted to talk about anything anymore, and I needed to talk! Lord knows I needed to talk, but she wasn't listening. After awhile, I gave up, too. I just didn't see the point. She shut me out, she made me feel like she wasn't a person I could talk to anymore. She no longer looked at me that way she used to, so... So, when Lauren came along, when she listened, when she looked at me the way she did, I felt... I felt better again, you know? I felt like someone actually cared about what I was going through. And maybe that's why I did it, I don't know, but I did. I just wanted to feel again, and in that split second I had time to think about what it was that I was doing with Lauren, I thought that it would help. I thought that it would awaken something in me, but it didn't. It made me feel even worse. Maybe for a second I felt good about it, but after all was said and done, I felt terrible. I loved Callie, I _love_ Callie, and I knew how much this would hurt her, I knew, but I did it anyway - She was speaking so quickly she barely had time to breath, so she paused for a second, taking in a large breath, thinking about what she was going to say next - Maybe I did it out of spite, maybe I did it because I felt detached from her for so long... Whatever it is, I don't know..." Arizona finished.

"As I was saying before, Arizona, Callie lost things, too. It wasn't just you. She may have given up on you, and that was wrong of her, but she didn't know what to do anymore, and frankly, you weren't making it easy for her to try and help you, being stubborn and wanting to do it all alone. Maybe you didn't realize then, maybe you still don't, but by treating her the way you did, you were shutting her out as well. By throwing abuse at her about your leg, you were running from your true feelings, you were shutting her out. She didn't understand why you were so angry with her about the leg because she's thinking about the reason she made the decision. She wanted to save your life, Arizona, and you have to take a second to look at things from her point of view. You need to give her that."

"I..." Arizona was completely baffled by her therapists response to that. "I just... I want her to understand, I want her to see, I need her to see that I still love her. I know I have problems, and I know I need to work through them, but I need her in my life."

"Then you need to tell her that. You need to explain to her what you're feeling. You need to have a mature conversation with her. If you want to reconcile with her, you need to make an effort." Debbie said, forcefully. She wanted to make Arizona see that it's important for her to take Callie's feelings into consideration, as well as her own.

"I need to leave. I have things to think about." Arizona says, standing abruptly, "I'll see you next week."

"Arizona, wait!" Debbie stops her, before she opens the door, "I want you to try and talk to Callie this week, all right? And maybe, if all goes well, we can have a session, all three of us?" Debbie says, smiling slightly.

"Okay..." Arizona says, hesitantly. "Bye."

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**A/N: Is Arizona going to talk to Callie?**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Yes! The answer is yes! Callie and Arizona are going to have a mature conversation about their relationship! Yay! This chapter is going to be relatively short, though, because I wanted to split it into two parts.**

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After her therapy session a few days ago, there was a lot Arizona had to think about, in terms of her relationship with Callie. She thought long and hard about everything, and she decided she wanted to make an effort to talk to Callie again. It had been almost a month and a few days since they last spoke about anything other than their daughter or work, and she was ready to try.

She made her way to the Ortho floor to Callie's office. Arizona stepped in, quietly, and closed the door behind her, locking it. Callie had her back to the door, though, and when she turned around, seeing that it was Arizona, her smile fell slightly. "What do you want, Arizona?" She said, exhaustion evident in her voice.

"I want to talk to you about some things... Not right now, though, because I know you probably have work to do, but tonight... I was wondering if I could come over and maybe we could talk..." Arizona said, slowly, in an almost whisper.

"Arizona, I don't - " Callie began, but was quickly cut off by Arizona.

"I-I've been going to therapy, Callie, and I've been making progress... A lot of progress, actually - she laughs, nervously - and I want to talk to you about some things... Things that I've realized after being in therapy for awhile."

Callie was shocked to hear that Arizona was going to therapy, that didn't sound like her. She spoke, some of the venom from before leaving her voice, "Okay," she said, gently.

"Okay...?" Arizona asked.

"We can talk. I get off around 8, so I'll grab some pizza, you can come over, we'll eat, and we'll... We'll talk. I need to find someone to take Sofia, though, so we can talk without interruption." Callie said, smiling slightly. Despite everything that's happened between them, Callie still longed to talk to Arizona everyday. She missed her more than words could even express.

Arizona sighed, happily. She never thought in a million years Callie would actually be willing to talk to her. "That sounds perfect... I'll see you then, Calliope." Arizona says, turning around. She realizes what she just said, though, and she stops in her tracks. She doesn't know what possessed her to use Callie's full name. Arizona stands there, wide eyed, silently, but she takes Callie's silence as her cue to get out of there.

Callie was surprised at the use of her real name. Not angry or upset, but definitely surprised. Arizona hasn't called her that in almost a year. Still, it sounded as beautiful as ever falling from her delicious lips. It was a mistake, judging by the fact that Arizona abruptly stopped on her way to the door after realizing she'd said it.

Callie spent the rest of her shift in a daze, wondering what Arizona was going to say to her. She was still incredibly hurt and angry with Arizona, but she missed her like crazy. She is the love her life, after all.

Arizona dropped Sofia off with Meredith after work, and she made her way to the apartment her and Callie once shared. She knocked gently on the door, waiting for Callie to open it.

On the other side, Callie was making her way to the door, and just before she could open it, she stopped, trying to calm herself down. She took one big deep breath, and she let it out as she opened the door for Arizona.

Arizona took in the sight of Callie standing on the opposite side of the threshold, her mind flashing back to the day Callie shut the door in her face after she came back from Africa. "Hey." She said, weakly, smiling.

"Hi." Callie replies, awkwardly. "Um, come in."

Arizona walks in, taking in her surroundings. Almost everything is in the exact same place as where it was the last day she was here - not that she was expecting much of a change, though it definitely felt different to be back here.

Callie stood behind her, awkwardly, not knowing what to do. "Um, you can sit down on the couch, if you want." Callie said, clearing her throat, nervously.

Arizona just smiled back at her, making her way to the couch. She sat down on the edge, leaning back slightly into the arm of it. When Callie didn't join her, she patted the spot next to her, encouraging Callie to sit down.

Callie hesitantly rook a seat relatively close to Arizona, the closest they'd been in a long time.

Arizona took a deep breath, closing her eyes. It'd been so long since she's been this close to Callie - she could smell the ever prominent scent of her perfume mixed with a scent that was just pure Callie. God, she missed this woman so much.

"So, you wanted to talk..." Callie said, clearing her throat, bring Arizona back to reality.

Arizona opened her eyes, making contact with Callie. "I... Yeah, I do. Um, well, I don't really know where to start... I guess I should just start with I'm sorry, which is something that I know you don't really care to hear from me, but is something that desperately needs to be said... Calliope, I am so deeply deeply, deeply, sorry for hurting you so much. I am _so_ sorry. Because I am in love with you and I will spend the rest of my life telling you that. I'll apologize to you everyday - she says, mirroring the words she once said - I know that what I did hurt you tremendously, and I'll never be able to forgive myself, but I need you to understand a few things. I need to say some things, and I need you to listen, without this ending in an argument, so please, can you just listen to me for a few minutes?" Arizona asks, taking Callie's hand.

Callie looks into Arizona's pleading eyes, and her heart shatters at the sight. "I... Yes." She says, squeezing Arizona's hand, nodding her head.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Oh god.**

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Arizona takes a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. "I... I'm still so very angry with you for making the decision to cut off my leg," She starts.

Callie goes to say something, but is quickly cut off by Arizona again, "BUT I'm not upset because of the fact that I lost a limb, not anymore, I'm upset because of the fact that you made a promise and you broke it. You were the one person I trusted most in the world, and you took that trust, and you shattered it into a million tiny pieces. I felt completely betrayed, I still do... But I understand that you cut off my leg to save my life, so for that, I thank you. I never took the time to look at this entire situation from your point of view before, but being in therapy has made me realize that that was completely selfish and totally wrong for me to do. I was upset, and I had every right to be, but I should have never taken it out on you the way that I did, I should have never said those awful things to you." Arizona took another deep breath, trying to push forward without breaking down in tears.

Callie squeazed her hand encouragingly, which was unexpected but greatly appreciated, because it gave Arizona the push she needed to say what she was about to say. "Calliope, I thought you had given up on me, I really did. At the beginning, you were there for me, but after awhile, everything just seemed to... I don't know... You just-You got tired of hearing about my leg, you never wanted to talk, you never really listened when I needed you to... You got tired of me, you told me to get over it, you... You gave up on me. Or... At least I thought you had. So, when I met Lauren, when I started working with her, she made me feel something that I knew I shouldn't be feelings. But, she also made me feel wanted again, she made me feel like I wasn't just a burden or a problem, she talked to me, she listened, she looked at me... She looked at me the way you used to... I felt as though you'd given up, and then out of nowhere, comes this woman that's so willing to, I don't know, be there, and I ran with it." Callie withdrew her hands from Arizona's, breathing heavily, tears flowing freely down her face.

"Arizona, I can't... I..." Callie sobbed.

"No, no, Callie, I need you to listen. Please." She pleaded with the Latina. She scooted closer to her, taking her Callie's face between her palms, making Callie's eyes connect with hers. Callie tries looking away, but Arizona stops her, "Calliope, please, listen to me. I love you, and I need you to listen to me for just a little bit longer. Please." She said, wiping Callie's tears away with the pad of her thumb. Her hands fall away from Callie's face, and she takes her palm in the other woman's once again. Callie look up into Arizona's tear stained eyes, telling her to keep going, that she's listening.

"I'd realized, after awhile, that you'd given up on me, that you'd shut me out, so I decided to do the same to you. I don't know if I cheated on you out of spite, I don't know, but I thought, on some level, that it would awaken something inside me... But I was wrong. As soon as we were done, I left. I felt sick to my stomach, I felt dirty. When I married you, I promised you that I'd never hurt you again, that I'd never cheat on you the way George did, that I'd never leave you like Erica, but I... I did all three of those things. I don't blame you for completely hating my guts, either, because I hate them, too." She said, laughing slightly.

Callie was the one to withdraw her hands from Arizona's this time. "Arizona, I do not hate you. I love you. I love you with every fiber of my being, which makes all of this so much harder. I want to hate you, but I can't. I was angry with you, I'm still angry with you, but I do not hate you." Callie says, firmly.

Arizona nodded, hesitantly, continuing, "I cheated on you, I bailed, I gave up, I treated you like complete shit for more that a year, I hurt you, and I will _never_ be able to forgive myself for that. But you hurt me, too. We're both at fault here. We have destroyed each other over the course of the last year. We both shattered the trust we instilled in one another, but I want to try, more than anything, to rebuild that trust. I want you, Calliope Torres. I need you. _I love you_. I - we - still have so much to work through, but I don't want to do it alone." Arizona finished, finally, taking a deep breath.

"Arizona, I -" Callie began, but was yet again cut off by the blonde.

"Callie, I don't need you to give me an answer tonight, okay? Or even tomorrow... I just need to know if you're at least willing to try and work through things together, maybe even go to therapy. I've said all that I need to say right now, and I don't want you to make any snap decisions, so I'm going to leave. I need you to be able to think about this without any influence from me." Arizona said, her palm reaching out, touching Calliope's face, gently. She wiped away the last remaining tears on her wife's face, kissing her cheek.

Callie smiled, removing Arizona's hand from her face, holding it in her own between them. "I'm willing to do whatever it takes to get back to being happy with you, Arizona. And you're right, there's still a lot we need to discuss, but I have a question to ask you as well..." Callie said, a small smile forming on her lips.

"Yes..." Arizona said, waiting.

"I want to know, if you'll come home... Maybe after a therapy session or two, you could move back in, if you want, so we could work things out together, in the same space..."

"My next therapy session is Tuesday at 6pm. I'll be there, and I hope you will be, too. Goodnight, Calliope." Arizona replies, getting up.

Callie grabs Arizona's hand, and she stops. "I love you, Arizona."

Arizona's heart breaks at her confession. They've said it a million times before, they've even said it earlier in their conversation, but this time it was just so loaded with love and hope and fear and a million other things, and it broke Arizona's heart. Arizona leaned down, placing a kiss on Callie's forehead, and she let herself out of the apartment.

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**A/N: I honestly don't know how much longer this is going to go on, but I know it's going to be at least a few more chapters. I want Callie to be able to talk to, so that's definitely going to happen. And they're going to go to therapy together, but I'm not really sure how I'm going to go about that - I have no idea what they're going to discuss in the session yet. Thanks for reading! Reviews are always greatly appreciated... And they also inspire me to write more, so if you like this story, get on that! (;**


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